First we have the Space Monolith Action Figure - seriously, how cool is this? Right up there with....air. Ok, maybe that's taking it a bit far but it's pretty funny.
Deep in the heart of Aisle 7 (the action figure aisle), all throughout the 70's, 80's, and 90's, something waited. No one knew it was there, until toy stores began their turn of the century renovations. Then the Monolith Action Figure was discovered. What was it for? Where did it come from? Why wouldn't its barcode scan? No one knew. And no one knows to this day. (source: Thinkgeek.com)
Next we have Canned Unicorn Meat - I've eaten a lot of meat in my day but Unicorn meat wasn't in there any where. I'm thinking this rates right up there with Haggis. Just sayin.
Radiant Farms Canned Unicorn Meat Specifications
- 14 ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience
- Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland
- Crunchy horn bits in every bite - an excellent source of Calcium
- Tastes like rotisserie chicken but with a hint of marshmallow sweetness
- Easily spreadable for sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres, and more
- Sparkly meat lends the unmistakable air of class and sophistication to your parties
- Unlike other meats, unicorn fat is polyunsaturated and lowers your LDL cholesterol
- Not yet approved by the USDA or FDA, but the nuns have eaten it for centuries and they're healthy as horses (source: thinkgeek.com and when you read the whole thing get ready to laugh your ass off)
- Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can.
- The bottom of the tin is easily removable to gain access to the mini dead unicorn inside. No can opener needed!
- Moisten your lips with the loving taste of meat. (ewwww)
I have to admit that I totally thought of Tumperkin and her love of the stache when I saw these. How could you not love the Mustache erasers??
I think I need these bandages for my kids. Especially since my oldest is addicted to C.S.I.
I love that it says "free toy inside." What could it possibly be?
And last for the list is a book and its something everyone cynic needs - man or woman...
It's the Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr book by Ann Thornhill and Sarah Wells
This lovely has 365 splendidly bitter daily meditations that will appeal to the cynic in you. Nowhere else will you find such odes to self-absorption as:
·Today I will equate material possessions with love.
·Today I will taunt others until they cry, then tell them they are too sensitive.
·Today I will make a new friend based solely on how he or she can further my career.
·Today I will respect my need to sabotage everyone else's success.
Hopefully you found the perfect gift for that unusual person. Or if not, hopefully you got a laugh.